Gabrielle Union, Women making the first move

Why Women Should Make The First Move

Written by Mickie Woods


If you’re a single woman dating men in 2020, there really are no reasons why you shouldn't be making the first move. Contrary to popular belief, men don’t have to always be the pursuers and chivalry isn’t dead; it’s just sleeping but can be easily woken up when women step in to make their voices heard and their intentions clear. Women deserve to take advantage of every potentially great relationship that may come their way. Here are four reasons why we believe being brave and making the first move will transform your dating life. 

1. The ball is in your court

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When you make the first move, you have way more control over how the encounter plays out. You get to strategize how much energy you're willing to invest and set your standards for the type of energy you’ll receive in return. The outcome quickly shifts from worry towards whether or not this person likes you to power over deciding whether or not you like them. It’s empowering! And it’s so much more freeing being the dictator of your relationships instead of wondering “What if?”


2. You’ll have way more options

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If you wait around for people to come to you, you’re missing out on a sea of eligible romantic interests who could be right for you. Imagine waiting for the right school to accept you, the right job to find you, and your dreams to make themselves come true. Personally, issa no for me. My dating life is just as important as every other aspect of my life so I try to make sure I’m opening myself up to all of life’s opportunities — especially the romantic ones.  


3. Rejection builds character

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Some of my favorite memories are from nights going out with my girlfriends when we would have silly competitions to see which one of us could get the most phone numbers. The winner was never the one who looked the best that night, but it was the one who had the most game. Those nights taught me more about men and dating than some relationships I’ve been in! Sure, rejection sucks, but over time you realize that the worst that could happen is that they say no and, in my opinion, every no is definitely worth the experience and communication skills you’ll acquire as a result.


4. Men find it attractive!

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If it’s men that you’re puttin’ the moves on, keep in mind that men don’t get approached often and it can be incredibly flattering to have a confident woman like yourself express interest in them. Men love compliments, yet they rarely get them. It can be fun to come up pick-up lines and find new ways to entice men. It turns into an adventurous gamble and you’ll find that you have more power, control, and fun when you approach dating in this way.


Whether you’re walking up to a hottie across the bar or sending the first message on Tinder, you have nothing to lose and a whole lot to potentially gain when you put yourself out there and make the first move. Life is about taking risks. Never be afraid to grab your dating life by the horns and become the decider of who enters your life, and on what terms they stay.

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