3 Easy Steps From Overthinking to Orgasmic

The most beneficial place to be is here with me and my words. Oh, and, of course, your breath. Really try to read through this entire blog post without your mind drifting off to internal commentary. This will be the first step toward bringing more ease and pleasure into your life. 

Due to this fast, chaotic, unpredictable world, an overwhelming amount of stress is attached to it. This stress increases our masculine energy through the hormone testosterone, and it keeps us in a state of survival—constantly hustling, creating through effort, experiencing, fixing, numbing, or keeping busy. 

It becomes merely impossible to transition into an intimate, connected, present, and comfortable energy and reach orgasmic bliss when your body is too overactive.

I know we have been taught that operating in our masculine energy is the only way to get things done and become successful, but in the name of duality, there is an alternative, more pleasurable half. Taking a feminine approach means jumping into the stream of flow and ease.

Here is a story that helped me grasp the concept of transforming from my masculine forward-hustling ways to my feminine forward-receiving ways. 

That is the difference between efforting in the masculine energy, and receiving in the feminine energy. 

When your mind is overactive, you are trying to come up with solutions, conclusions, or clarity. You are not in a clear, open, receptive energy. Whenever you think thoughts, you are allowing your ego to create. But when you can receive a thought from being in a relaxed, mentally at ease state, then you are allowing your spirit to be inspired by the Divine.

The mind can be so full of questions, concerns, suggestions, and critiques towards ourselves, others, and our environment. The one place we all wish our minds did not interfere is while engaging in sexual play with our lover. Over-thinking is the #1 blocker of orgasms. I haven't checked this statement out with any scientists or researchers;  just a truth from surveys, girl talks, and heartfelt conversations with customers and clients.

I have found myself thinking of everything from what I'm sensing in their energy, concerns about my performance, and criticizing my slow-rising clitoris; it was a bunch of very unsexy thoughts. I have tried everything under the roof to help quiet the mind during sex, and I've finally found the recipe. 

First we must get a better understanding of the 3 main contributions to being mentally present during sex.

1. Mindfulness Practices

Mindfulness practices are fun. It's simply just seeing yourself do something. Being attentive instead of reacting or analyzing things with your mind. So, for example, let's take a task that I know and hope we all do at least once a day: brushing your teeth. Being mindful during that time, you would want to observe how the toothpaste glides on the brush bristles, how it smells as it passes your nose to your mouth, feel the bristles brushing against each tooth, your gums, your tongue, observe the sensations from it. Listen to the water running. Envision how the water swooshes around your mouth and all the bacteria swirling around in the pool of water. Watch as you spit out the water, how it feels exiting your mouth, watch it splash in the sink, and glide down the drain. That is brushing mindfully. You can apply this practice to everything you do, such as driving, eating, listening, walking, etc. Come out of your head and into your body and experience your life unfolding. If you don't like the fragments of your day, figure out bold ways to make significant shifts.

2. Intention

Intention is a practice that can truly change your life. The words you use about your life, your body, and your experience have power. When you allow life to drag you by the neck, you have no control over your life. But when you are intentional about the pieces of your life, you control the final picture. 

Your words have so much power, and you have to trust that what you're speaking and thinking to be true will manifest in your reality as true, too. So, be intentional about what you think and believe to be true. Does it reflect your Divine worthiness and magnificence? If it doesn't, then it's more than likely not true. 

So, let's use the tooth-brushing analogy for intention to show you that you can get creative with how you choose to be intentional about everything you do.

Before I brush my teeth, I use my natural seamoss toothpaste that I have blessed to energetically cleanse my mouth of things that gave me a bad taste in my mouth, whether it's the way I spoke to myself, something someone said or did toward me, As I brush my teeth I imagine all of that negative energy being absorbed into the toothpaste as I scrub my mouth, and as I spit it into the sink, I release that energy from my body and into the drain. I could even say what the process of brushing my teeth does for me physically; it is cleaning my teeth and removing unwanted bacteria, and I can feel it washing away. 

Energetic and physical intentions can be placed on anything you do or use. You decide what outcome you want from completing the task. This story of life is literally yours to create. The story is found in the mundane tasks, that you turn into sacred rituals through intention.

3. Breathing

One main blocker of breathing beautifully is the collective feeling of impatience. Impatience is not a natural attribute of the human character; scientifically, your frequency is no longer in harmony at a biological level. If you are impatient, your breathing has become shallow, and your nervous system is overstimulated. You feel as though things aren't how you would like them to be. You're anxiously waiting for success, money, love, ease, a vacation, a new car, etc. So you stress about the future, obsess over the past, or continuously obsess over what you want out of life.

When you've reached a higher frequency mentally, you know there is nothing to worry about because everything is always happening perfectly for you. You know this because of your connection to Your Creator and your abilities. You've forgotten how to trust. Trust in yourself, trust in God and trust in the Universe, I'm here to remind you again that you are whole, perfect, strong, loving, divine, protected, and magical. Nothing is out of your reach; you just have to trust and be patient. 

When you brush your teeth or do anything else, be intentional about your breathing and posture. A healthy flow of breath is the flow of life through your body. Breathe deep into your belly. Feel your diaphragm raise up high and then exhale through your nose. Continue to do this slowly with full breaths until your breathing relaxes you. Breathing into your chest is very inefficient, so when you notice yourself doing that, shift it back to your gut. 

Your body becomes lighter and you're able to truly be one with your mind, body and soul.
Patience is so important when it comes to quieting the mind. It allows you to hear the melodies of life's natural music, to trust again, to keep your heart and mind open, and to make life seem simple and easy—as it should be.